So this is Christmas

And what have we read?

Welp, here we go, sliding into the new year once again. This year felt very long to me. Did I really kick this blog off in February of this year? Because it feels like that was 4 years ago. But let’s save all that existential ennui for a future note, because it’s end-of-year best-of list season!  Fa la la!

La.

La.

My meta lists about all the lists

1. Best number one item on a list:  cod semen.

2. Best reason to not share your Spotify Wrapped on social media: because Kanye West¹ was on it.

3. Best gift suggestion lists to obsessively scroll through and never buy anything from – NYMag, T Mag, Goop, Vogue. If you really loved your dog, you would get them an upcycled dog bed frame.

Why all the lists?

1. Life is so chaotic and messy, a nice orderly list satisfies our desire to create the illusion of control.

2. We are a dangerously polarized nation, but one thing that unites us all is how steadfastly we hold on to our own opinions. Best of lists are a wonderful opportunity to disagree with your fellow Americans.

3. Thanks to the phone you might very well be reading this on, we’re all skimmers, not readers. A list is much easier to scan-read than a stupid boring paragraph.

It was the best of lists, it was the worst of lists

Of course the holidays are an easy excuse for excess, but the New York Times has really outdone itself this year both in terms of quantity of best-of lists, and content. They’ve got best of lists for books, recipes, best actors, best podcasts, best images of the year. Even I, a confirmed list-slut, has grown weary. 

It started with the cod semen. That delicious treat is available in what the Times says is the city's best restaurant of the year. And I'm sure it’s “delicious.” But dinner for two is about $1,000. I’m probably asking to be canceled for cultural insensitivity, and I apologize. Jeff pointed out that we eat caviar, and eggs–why should semen be any different? It just is, plus I don’t pay $1,000 for eggs.

Alright, I digress. We’re here for the books.

Best literary fiction, according to me

1. Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk – You already know how I feel about this novel. I’m not really sure I understood it all but I’m still thinking about specific lines she wrote

2. Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin – This book was marvelous, and I’ll devote a whole email to it soon. If you love John Irving you’ll love this.

3. Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel – I’ll write more about this one too. She gets the biggest brightest gold star for writing a time travel story that doesn’t give me a headache. It actually works.

4. Joan is Okay by Weike Wang – I read and wrote about this book 4 years ago, at the start at 2022. 

5. The Cazalets by Elizabeth Jane Howard – I spent a quarter of the year reading these fuckers. They get pride of place. Also, I somehow didn't mention in the last issue that these old Brits are all very randy. There’s loads of sex in these novels, if you’re into that kind of thing.

I also read For Whom the Bell Tolls this year which belongs on the list of course, but it doesn't seem fair to pit these books against Hemingway. 

Best audiobooks, according to me

Here’s a separate list for those who indulge in the joys of listening to someone read you a story. It’s not for everyone I know, but I am professionally obligated to tell you it’s definitely worth trying free for 30 days at audible.com.  😀

1. Happy-Go-Lucky by David Sedaris – Holy cow this guy gets better and better. I’m sure it’s a delight to read but many of these chapters are performed before a live audience and he’s so good that, like the nurse he indulges during a hospital visit, you could mistake him for a famous stand-up comic. 

2. Liberation Day by George Saunders – I would skip the first story, or at least don’t start with it. With Tina Fey and Michael McKean performing, it seems like an added bonus to listen instead of read.

3. Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman – this book and this guy will get a full entry in the weeks to come. This is an anti-productivity/self-improvement book written with fantastic wit and heart.

4. The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown – An oldie but I’d never heard of it, and it’s marvelous. Edward Herrmann reads this with magnificent gravitas.

5. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir – Like The Martian before it, this is a science-nerdy rollercoaster ride. It’s a celebration of being smart.

Best podcasts, according to me

I don’t devour podcasts like most people–too bogged down in audiobooks. But I want to list a few mostly to give a shout out to my absolute favorite.

First the few I regularly listen to:

1. Pivot. It’s on a ton of lists, and I'm not sure why but I love listening to Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway dissect the tech sector.

2. Kelly Corrigan Wonders – Her Friday “For the Good of the Order” segments are short shots that always make me feel a little better.

3. You’re Wrong About – The series about Jessica Simpson was strangely fascinating.

4. Ultra by Rachel Maddow – Supremely well-written true story of the first time Americans had to deal with a horde of shitty people who liked to shout “America First.”

Now, here’s the BEST podcast in America right now:

1. Bone Valley² – written and hosted by Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Gilbert King, this is where social justice and true crime intersect. A man has spent most of his life in prison for the murder of his wife. The state of Florida basically knows who really did it but won’t free the wrongfully convicted widower. Podcasts like this one can help actually effect change–look at what the magnificent Serial podcast did. Plus it’s just compelling storytelling.

Peace on earth

We were brainstorming holiday-esque lines of copy for something at work, and when I suggested wishing everyone a peaceful holiday my fellow writers said it sounds like we’re saying “I hope you don’t get gunned down at the Wal-Mart.”  So I’ll leave you with that.

May 2023 be the year we outlaw assault rifles.

Love,

Alix

1. Fuck you ‘Ye.

2. I’d say this even if my beloved husband Jeff wasn’t involved. Many major media outlets put Bone Valley on their best of lists, too.